Maman.. I’m Scared

This story is inspired by a thought that I had a few days ago during a recent business trip to New York City…

The car rolls swiftly on the Manhattan bridge. I’m looking at the multitude of light dots that are scattered in the semi-darkness of the city: the field of skyscrapers extending to infinity… and I’m wandering; ” Gosh! what a huge city…” At this very moment, a wave of insecurity hits my mind. The idea of being one tiny grain of sand among millions scares the shit out of me.

With the years, I taught myself to be an ambitious, self-confident, and very driven young woman, which, to a certain extend, I am… However, some times… For a very brief moment (sometimes not so brief), I look at myself and try to be objective. Where am I? What am I doing? What it is that makes me believe so strongly that I have a place in this crazy world that we call show-business? It’s been a while I decided to jump off the cliff, without any parachute or the like… with the only certainty that I could fly.
Hard bet isn’it?

The little bird on her tree branch:

There is one good new though.. I found out that I can fly indeed!
Bit by bit.. I hop, flutter a few seconds ( just enough to reach the next branch).. Of course, sometimes I fall off.. Then I always say:
” shit, not only do I have to start all over again, I am one branch below!”
I’m angry now.. I don’t like to do things twice. I look at the next branch, and suddenly, it seems way too high! But what can I do? there is no way for me to get off the tree (falling to the ground is not an option.. it’s way too painful).. Plus, I see this big tasty worm that sleeps comfortably on the branch above. It teases me, and since I’m a voracious little bird, there is no way this worm doesn’t find its way to my stomach. No way!
So I hold my breath, close my eyes so I don’t see what’s beneath me, and I jump. ( I never learn my lessons do I?)…Then, as I crease my eyes with apprehension, I see my bird mother, comfortably settled in the family nest, looking at me from the side. Her gaze is tender yet cautious. She blows a joyful whistle at me… She knows too well that my little heart is probably beating a hundred miles an hour right now.

I’m walking along the 6th avenue now. I’m looking at the skyscrapers, at the stores, at the people. It is a very windy evening…
I am somewhere submerged in the grandiosity of New York city, with a script under my arm and a seemingly good short film under my belt. I meet people.. so do hundreds of other up&coming filmmakers around the country. Some of those industry folks could not care less, some of them welcome my work with fierce interest. There is absolutely no way of knowing what is my true place in this hubbub. It is indeed very scary. But I have to go forward. What you have to know however is that, at this very moment; as I’m feeling completely lost, it is of you that I’m thinking… and suddenly I feel lighter. The winds might be strong and my wings might be sore, you are the one who gives me the strength to face the storm.

Je t’aime Maman
xxx.

The Independant Filmmaker’s Week

If there is one industry happening any independent filmmaker should attend in the early stage of his or her career, it is the Independent filmmaker’s conference week. Organized by the well established IFP, which also runs the Independent Filmmaker magazine, the event focuses on gathering many of the most prominent figures of the independent scene to discuss about the new trends in the film business.

For the fresh “out of film school” peeps, the 30 panels mean, not only a good stack of very useful information about how to make their way within the crazy film world, they are also an enlightening revelation about the business reality behind the art of film making, which is, I am sorry to say, the most critical aspect of the game.

The 2009 edition of the Filmmaker’s week has been focusing mainly on the state of film financing as well as on the new trends of distribution; two aspects that undergo significant changes these days due to the economic crisis in which the industry is plunged. Some discussion were also targeted at the state of digital film making and its role wihtin the independent film scene.

What’s a very interesting thing about the filmmaker’s conference week is that it gathers a diversity of film professionals; from up&coming producers and directors trying to attract the attention of big studios to the first timers who are looking forward their first film work. It is a very friendly happening where people meet filmmakers from around the continent and share their thoughts and opinions.

to everybody who aspires to make its way into the international film business, I really suggests you to attend this event… It is not that much expensive (a week pass cost 250$ USD) and it gives tremendous tools to face the chaotic industry in which we navigate these days. I especially target my Canadian fellow filmmakers, who I think, could benefit from a broader perspective on film financing. Public funding is melting like ice cream under the sun. Opening our perspective to private investment and international partnership is certainly a reality that we will have to face at some point, and the IFP is the first step to this whole new world.

Women artists and women representation within medias

This last article about women representation in the fashion industry led me to wander about another very important matter…  the role of women artists in changing the women representation.

While the fight for body diversity  is, without a doubt,  a noble one, it raises a tricky situation for many female media content creators.  Personally, I have the desire to propose alternative ways to portray women characters on screen. I have indeed a different perspective and a different sensibility that I hope will clash with my male counterparts’. However,  on the other hand, I cannot ignore my own vision about femininity. I still want to praise Its beauty, its richness and complexity.  I crave for this idealized thin and soft body, those deep blue eyes and those perfect bubbly lips…  As a matter of fact, I think that characters are solely the product of an artist’s fantasy. A fantasy that I, as a filmmaker, want to share, and, to a certain extend, sell to the audience.  No matter where we stand, I feel like, as women, it is impossible not to be jeopardized : If  we strongly uphold the women condition, we are automatically   considered  feminists (which has a rather negative meaning nowadays); and if we don’t embrace it, we are accused of not taking our social responsibility as female artists.  Therefore, we are not caught between ‘’right and Wrong’’, but rather between ‘’wrong and wrong’’. How are we supposed to evolve in such conditions?